The Dick Dance

Like all things in life it just kinda happened. I moved in with one comedian, then met and fell in love with another comedian.  One thing led to another and two years later I'm still living with the funny man. This blog will probably be in random happenstances. In order or not, who gives?

Dick Dance:

Let me clarify the title ladies and gentlemen. We have all experienced it, whether it is from a little boy or a grown man, the art of the “Dick Dance”. In my entire 28 years of living I have never seen a more perfect display of man meat slap tappin' skills. If there was a reality show contest Paula Abdul would be shook sane with his dick dancin' skill. Flawless executions of the classics, “The Helicopter”, “Horizontal and Vertical Slap” sometimes with a “Hamburger” twist, any man in food service or in a mechanic's shop knows exactly what that is. Now some of you may not be impressed with such amateur moves, well there are new ones:

The Look Ma No Hands (perhaps the creepiest of all dick dances, it’s all in the eyes)
Floating Fantastic (this one involves a Gold's total work out home gym pull up bar)
The Toot Scoot Boogie (just imagine what it might be, it's worse trust me)
The Long Neck Hang Down (only when it's hot)
Short Man's Waltz (only when getting out of a pool or in the winter)
Flip Flop (to hip hop music)
Bang Your Head (80's heavy metal jams)
Twist and Shout (only to the Beatles or while watching Ferris Beuller's Day Off)

Of course being a comedian, he does have time to practice and perfect these dances. Having a full length mirror helps, being alone in your hotel room helps. With all the classics and the new favorites sometimes it's very hard to ever be upset or mad. So men I advise, practice makes perfect, and ladies, sit back and enjoy the show.